Tell us what you think -FF, Poems, RPGs-!

princess__ · 3e jaars Verdiend: 174 Sikkels Woonplaats: belgie

Author : D@niel

Story: Early sunset and a pensieve [One-Shot]

Opinion: Really great story, I quit enjoyed it how you tell about his life & what happend.
Very original, I never read a story about this person.
Hope you'll make more!

Justintime · Geplaatst: Zo Aug 05, 2007 23:11

Author: D@niel
Title: Early sunset and a pensieve

I like the story, Fenrir Greyback interests me and that's one of the reasons I like it. The way of writing is good, and I thought it was really sad for Greyback that his father hitted him.. How he grow up from an innocent child to a killing monster and put that in a story was a good idea I think ^^ Much more I haven't to say, accept it was a joy to read.

FireBolt428 · Geplaatst: Ma Aug 06, 2007 1:07

Author: D@niel
Title: Early sunset and a pensieve

Excellent story, by which I mean, content more than interesting to read, although it's a FanFic, it's was very interesting to read background about one of the most intruiging of all (bad) Harry Potter characters. Descriptions of environments and feelings were very well written down, I think, and not too long, which keeps away the boredom ^^..Accent of Fenrir's father was also utterly amusing to read, by the way Razz

So, in short: Very good story, very well written, keep up the good work Razz

PS: Now satisfied, Daniël???!!!

Mrs Jessica Black · Geplaatst: Ma Aug 06, 2007 15:12

Author: D@niel
Title: Early sunset and a pensieve

Hay Dan, I want you to know that I am delighted that you started writing. The fact you have the inspiration and patience for it shows you'll surely create more. Now, to the story.
I like it that you give your RPG role so much to think about. It deepens the character and really works on how to make someone IC.
Your story and background really fit Greyback. He's a jerk and childhoods like that can really drive people to become the way they are.
But... I thinkyou tried to put too much in one story. The abuse can be made in a story itself, the biting of Remus is crucial and emotional and very interesting to lighten up from both persons. I think this 'one-shot' version does not give enough credit to your thoughts about it. I'm sure you can write seperate stories about each individual memory.
We also miss the total point of Greyback putting his memories in a Pensieve and then reliving them again. I really think you should have made it longer, with more details. But it's a good start as a writer and your English is good, though a BETA-read from someone wouldn't harm you.

**Jalf** · The Musical Mod Verdiend: 0 Sikkels Woonplaats: HPF

Author: BeeGee Kenobi
Title: The Missing Chapter

SPOILERS!

[selecteer]
This was good. The sadness from the chapter before. Information about interesting characters. A mournin process for the dead characters. Yes, this is what it should have been. I realy missed something like this in the book. I cried at the Burial-scene, poor George... Poor Andromeda... Poor everyone, actually... Sad

Yes... This is what it should have been. It was really thouching.
I also loved the IC-ness and the fact Harry had to help the Malfoy's in the end ^^
[/selecteer]

Author: MJB
Title: Harry

A lovely little story. I like the part where James was all paniced, the part with the names (That's soooo Sirius.) and the part with the dear.
You said you were afraid the story would be a little too boring, but believe me, it's not boring at all. The Characters are very IC and lovely, and even though I hardly ever read a James/Lily fic I really liked it. You did a good job Very Happy

Author: D@niël
Title: Early sunset and a pensieve

Holy moly, this fic is dark. Surprised

Well, that's to be expected with a main Character like Greyback. I really liked your fic. I mean: "Yay! Flash-back Fic."
Greyback was very IC (en a bit emo. Razz

) and I think Greyback's dad was a complete jerk. I also liked the "transfromatic" form the innocent boy to the beast he became.

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To all these 3 writers I want to say, keep on the good work. You guys have talent. Wink

**Malou** · Unspeakable Verdiend: 0 Sikkels Woonplaats: HPF

Author: Mrs Jessica Black
Story: Supernova
I think it's a very intense story, in a good way. It's very wellwritten, and as usual very in character and very realistic.
I also think it's a good thing for yourself that you wrote this off of you, I can imagine it feels like a bit of a relief.
And again, your writing is just perfect.

miss_sweet · Hotemetoot Verdiend: 0 Sikkels

Author: Mrs Jessica Black
Story: Supernova

Wow.. * silence * I really love your story! Really. It touched me. Every phrase is choosen carefully and I even wept reading it, and that doesn't happen often. It's written very beautiful and it's just perfect. Can't say nothing more about it. Keep on writing!

Nevodeon · Geplaatst: Wo Aug 22, 2007 16:31

Author: Mrs Jessica Black
Story: Supernova

Fantastic story, just like the last one. Very realistic 'n stuff.
Nice to read a story about what happens on the other side of the curtain for once. That's different and very nice.

As Malou said, I can imagine it's a relief.. Keep on the good work.

Dan out.

**Missy** · Geplaatst: Do Aug 23, 2007 13:51

Author: Mrs Jessica Black
Story: Supernova

You really outdone yourself this time. Such great details and the storyline is well thought of, bravo!
I can really imagine that this is something J.K. herself could have written and that this is what really happend on 'the other side'.
And this so soon after 'Harry', I'm very happy to have read something of you so soon... thank you!

Missy

Smoky · Geplaatst: Vr Aug 24, 2007 21:47

Author: Lavender Brown
Story: Winter [all chapters so far]

Deathly hallows spoilers!

SPOILERS!

[selecteer]
I am enjoying your story so much! I think it started out pretty interesting with the whole Malfoy/Hermione issue, and I'm eager to know how that will turn out. I think you captured all of the characters so well! You really did a good job on that. I think the part in Potter shopping plaza was hilarious! I loved the crazy sales woman. You discribe everything real good, for one, I loved the discription of Hermione's dress.
You do have a really good sense of humor, because I laughed out loud a lot while reading your story. And I felt so sorry for George, I'd like to give him a good old hug! I thought Hermione's 'You look handsome stranger' was so cute! *Squee* And I laughed so hard imagining Ron doing his Humble friend of Harry potter pose. Post again soon! *Fangirl scream*
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**Missy** · Geplaatst: Za Sep 08, 2007 10:42

Author: Nevodeon
Story: His Worst Mistake

I thought it was very well written and I couldn't find any spelling flaws, and I think that is so important. And I saw my name was again used in a fanfic, maybe accidental but very pleased to see my name again hee hee...

Keep up the very good work!!!

Missy

**Jalf** · The Musical Mod Verdiend: 0 Sikkels Woonplaats: HPF

Author: MJB
Story: Supernova

First of all, I love the title. It's a good thing you "saved" the title for this fic, cause it fits your fic perfectly.
The story itself is touching and very intresseting, especially because JKR didn't give us any information about what's behind the curtain and about the Afterlife in the Wizarding World. It was very moving to see Sirius cry. Sometimes a crying Sirius doesn't work in fics and makes him look like a Drama-Queen. In this story the crying worked. Well done.

xMartine. · Geplaatst: Wo Nov 21, 2007 15:43

Smoky
Three Words
I think I like this fanfiction. I can't say it right now, because you only posted one part. But the way you describe things and things like that, I can see that I like it! I hope you post another part soon!
xx Martine

Lady Quiera · Geplaatst: Wo Nov 21, 2007 21:53

Smoky
Three Words
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It was not your title that got my attention, it was the comment from my upper neighbour in this topic that put me to reading your story. I generally don't like marauder stories that much, but I enjoyed yours quite well! So keep on writing and I'll keep reading!

p.s- it's animagi as its derived from Latin!

**Witch_Eva** · Geplaatst: Di Dec 11, 2007 20:53

Genner
These Words

Aww it's so cute that there's a FF about my favourite slash of all time. xD SQUEEE Luna/Eva love

. I really love it. Its very cute that I'm in the story. Angel

So the beginning is good. I'm really looking forward to the other chapters. I want to know what will happen to Eva and Luna. xD