child of the other side




Comments!
@Loesewies; I'm glad your play went well! =D 
1. It's very short but it's clear. Your feeling is well expressed in this poem. It also makes me happy; as if I stand still for a moment to think about who I am.
2. Perhaps you couldn't finish it because you're not used to writing sad poems? I think it the change between stanza 3 and 4 is a bit abrupt. Perhaps you could add another stanza between those two. Don't know if that makes the poem better, though. :") I don't think it's a bad poem, but I do prefer the previous one.
@GiantPantscake; I already told you; I absolutely ADORE this poem. It's extremely good. You tried to explain me but I'm still puzzling a bit. XD Not a problem, I will just forget about the subject and adore the lines, like I do with my own poems. :") I can understand your struggle with the end, cause it is not as good as the beginning, but somehow it fits with the poem. So don't worry too much.
@FelixdeFeniks; Thanks for your replies. 
About the third poem; just as the previous ones it's about he sins of humanity. (I will do my best to explain the subject of my poem but most of the time I just write without a clear idea and make up the subject after I'm done. :") Hence, your confusion.) Anyway, it's mostly about pollution the world keeps growing, we keep driving the car even though we know it is bad and "concrete world" stands for skyscrapers and such. Blablabla. 
1. But I like titles *whines* XD. I really love the ending! It's sad but fitting. The poem itself is very clear, which is good for a war poem I think. Don't want to get confusions.
2. I think I prefer the first one, but I'm not really a love-poem type though it's certainly a nice poem. The second stanza is the best. I love how it rhymes.
@Lot, again; I like the simplicity of this poem. I like the oddness, that such a thing could have happened, it's almost movie like. The poem is very fitting, well done. (:


My first poem is about child abuse. I really love the title of the poem and I've written numerous poems for it but none fitted. In the end I just pasted it above this one. (:
The second poem is about suicide. The "leading character" sees how her friend ends up in the gutter, but doesn't know how to help her. 
(Happiness all over XD)



Roof-topped houses

What is a cherished feeling?
- A lone and cruel device
But participating in life’s game
It seems a worthy sacrifice

In the mirror’s endless reflection
Houses an angry red
The mouse tripped down the stairs
A foolish trinket of my bet

What is a peaceful living?
- A silent wish of faith
We gave up believing long ago
It’s Jesus who has to wait

Broken dreams and teddy bears
Giving comfort in the night
Our elders forsake their duties
To spend some time in fight

What is a call of remorse?
- A mouth that lost its ways
Stitched back it watches hours
Turn into many days



Crime watch

I have these visions from within
A grasp of something else
It is hard to depict
This bird on your face
Due the mud you are smothering in

The newspaper wipes out our kind
With telltale lines and captions
A blocked view cannot control
Those who blocked it from
The reasonable parallels of the human mind

I have these visions from within
Though were from I cannot tell
It is hard to comprehend
Another one’s dread of forfeit
But it does invites sorrow in


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