Loesewies Boterslag




Here I am with the promised comments:

@ cotos 
about Apocalypse of the mind: Very sad, but very beautiful. There are some very powerful sentences in that poem, such as: "It is a broken mess here/Not worth to fill a cup". A strong poem!
about Parental exercise: This one is a little more complex. The image you painted with this poem is beautiful, and quite heavy: "Didn't you know sunrise gave you up?"

@ Catie
about the one without a title: Very heavy, and quite sad. You wrote in simple sentences, with a lot of emotions behind it: "It looked so easy at the beginning/But then again/Mistakes are so easily made"
That is my favorite part of the poem.. it says so much, while it's a pretty simple sentence. Good job!
about Memories and Friendship: Lovely poem, not your best, but a good one. I like the last stanza best.
about Inside of me: this is a heavy one! It's really sad and dark. It's good though that you can use your poems to tone down your feelings.

@ Sweet Hermione
about It's a fever: I love how your description of the extacy is so chaotic and abstract. The subtle rhyming in it is also very good. Refreshing and intense.

@ Ailey
about Closed: A sweet poem, really intense. I especially like the last stanza: "We'll hear our freedom". Good one!


A new poem!! I wrote it last night, at about 3 a.m. I find those hours are the most productive ones. :wink: 

Addiction

Supremacy, no
space, no breath

My pen is paralyzed, defeated by
every word

the only thing that remains to
be done, is to close the
book


Love, Loesje


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