Sweet Hermione




I bet you love big comments. So here we go.
@ Loesewies: 1. Ow, gods, I think I can relate to that one! I think everyone knows those kind of precious moments that you cherish, though you know there won't be more of them again... well not the same kind.. with the same person(s). I really like the poem, I had to read it a few times. I think you could better use no capital letter for ''Lost'' and ''Found'', but maybe that's exactly how you like it. You use capital letters for all your stanza's in this poem, so I think that you meant to use a capital letter... Oh, I'm really into details now or someting, never mind. xD
2. Holy mother, I rrrealy adore this one. It's so... guh, so honest and pure! @ Wobbles:  I can send you the song ''Crush'' by Cute Is What We Aim For, maybe you recognize it then? ^^ 1. A Fine Frenzy, cool that you used that in the poem. I like the poem and I really think it's really really deep and philosophical but like always - I don't really understand it... I hope you have an explanation for this poem but I don't think so. xD
I think it's about life but I don't know what kind of aspect of it.
2. This kind of sounds like the movie Jesus Christ Superstar or a gospel song, in some way. ^^ I like the subject (and the fact that you know the subject of your poem!) and I know the Kaiser Chiefs have a song about the same subject... ah well but you're not really into the Kaiser Chiefs.
I wonder what you mean with ''Eat the laugh, drink to the hair''? What do you mean by ''hair''? Do you mean ''heir''? Or is it just very cryptical? I adore the last stanza, it's brilliant and I hope I understand it but I think I still don't. ^^
@ Catie: Maybe it's my sick mind, but I really like the last poem best. xD It's really depressive but it explains your feelings well. Though - I'm critical tonight, really - I think you could leave the line ''It seems impossible'' out of it because it gives more tension if you do. But that's just my opinion. Maybe that line gives a more kind of float in your poem and that's also nice. I also like the last stanza. Dunno. I'm sick, eh? ^^
The first poem is also nice. I think I understand a tiny bit of it, but the essence is unknown for me... but that's kinda natural because I don't know you thàt well 


I'll post this poem in a spoiler-code because I think it's a 15+ poem. There's no special topic in the 15+ board for this, so I'll post it here anyway. I don't really think it's shocking. There's just a lot of sexual aspects in this poem. But you know me - I'm not very clear in my poems so it's not really heavy anyway.
But it's just in case anyone thinks it's too... much. 

I hope you like it. I'm satisfied with it (1. the cliché-title, it's kinda Kylie Minogue-like - 2. the ending, especially the twenty-years phrase), though it's not perfect. My ryhme is a bit like I always do, kind of impulsive. The rythem is also not really how I wanted it...
But I just HAD to make this poem. 

It’s a fever

Lay me to sleep, but give me some time
You know how I crawl and weep
Take my hands and turn me around
My legs are restless and yours
keep telling me you’re diving deep

I cannot really recognize your words
I’ll forgive you every spoilt catch
Your hands slide in my stomach, light
a match and burn me lower
you begin to gasp for air, take me in –

You’re waiting way too long, but
I’m loving contradiction
If you’re strong, I’m there when your
eyes are wide, I’ll bite your skin
knowing it’s unfair if I do win

Don’t let go of my lipstick prints, I know
your eyes are dangerous, the pressure
goes when I turn and smile
Kiss my mouth and stay, while
your fingers are running and moaning –

It won’t be soon before too long, tell me
how you longed to move into me
Put your knees up, embrace your lust
Never stop when love is there, the dust
of twenty years combined is care

We’re coming right
(in this affair)


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